I think we can agree that the placement of makeup onto one's face is relatively straight forward. For instance, lip stick goes on the lips, eye shadow and eye liner go on the eyes. There are a few tools in the vanity that might be questionable and perhaps even scary, but for the most part makeup is pretty direct.
Now, the application of makeup is a different story. To some, the application of makeup is even an art form.
In my studies, which have been vast and ongoing, I have come across three groups of people. The first group is the "No Makeup" group. The people in this group generally do not wear makeup. They may wear makeup for special occasions, but it is not a part of their everyday routine. Some people in this group should definitely make it a part of their everyday routine, unless of course they fall into my third group.
The second group of people I will discuss is the "Makeup Wearers of America" group. I like to refer to the "Makeup Wearers of America" as "MWA" and so should you. "MWA" will put on their game face everyday. Whether it be a full out beauty blitz or a light color touch, the "MWA" prefer to sport a healthy glow. They cringe if they must leave their house without even a dab of lip gloss. "MWA" enjoy their cosmetic crusade and they present themselves tastefully.
My third group of people are the Clowns. They enjoy their makeup way too much and this results in over application. The amount of makeup they use daily could just about cover an entire circus troupe. When they are finished with their glamour regime, they look in the mirror with an appreciative beam. Clowns think they work wonders with their polished pusses, and I guess they could if they wanted to bring their talents to the tent.
Everyone has seen a Clown. And, once spotted, it is hard to take your eyes off of them. You really can't help but stare. The situation might not even lend itself to staring, but you are hopelessly trapped. Church, for example, is not a staring arena. One can cast a holy or reverent glance around the church. Perhaps even take a pious peek through the pews. Stare? No way!
So what does a person do when they see a Clown at Mass? (The older lady, across the aisle. Those drawn on eyebrows that are about five feet above the natural brow bone. The ridiculous arch of the eyebrows. Maybe if she were to use neon yellow eyebrow pencil she could contact McDonald's to be their new walking billboard.) A person can pray extra hard at Mass, asking the HS for some self control. They will probably have to send one up to the BVM as a reinforcement though. You can be sure that Old Scratch is sitting pretty watching this scene unfold.
How about when your boss is a Clown? (Smart boss. Knows her stuff. Hair and clothing in fine order. Eyeliner worn under the eye like a football player.) This boss sends a mixed message to her staff. Her employees are ready to talk spreadsheets and budgets, but are now questioning whether or not to ask about touchdowns and tackles. Eventually, the staff will become numb to the boss' look, like farmers with horse manure.
To conclude, let's just be thankful for the fact that the Clown population is only about ten percent. If it were any greater we would definitely be overcome with VOS, visual overload syndrome and we might be tempted into the carny life. Amen.
I think we can agree that credit should be given for effort in the makeup applying realm. Maybe not an A for effort, but some credit. While the finished product is what it all comes down to, effort should be recognized, if not rewarded. Actually, forget rewarded.
ReplyDeleteA long time ago, during college (late seventies,early eighties), my friends and I had friends across the entire makeup spectrum. I suppose some of them were artists, some might have been Clowns, but I know some of them at least were in Alison's first group - no makeup.
Members of the second two groups never mentioned which group they were in or the status of their memberships.
The first group members, however, must have been proud of their group membership and would state that they were wearing no make up. Yes, they would state it. Like I was blind. I got two of them and they both work. 20/20 in fact. This statement also made for a degree of awkwardity.
"Yeah, well I don't wear makeup."
Now, what is the proper comeback to that? You tell me. Let's try a few, shall we. Then pick your favorite.
"I don't wear makeup."
A. "Oh."
B "I see."
C "Really?"
D "Why the hell not?"
Actually you could squish them all into one comeback if you so choose.
I always detected a degree of pride in the first group, but I was never sure whence that pride was derived.
"I don't wear makeup."
"Okay, so now you look like a dude. You look like me. What am I doing here?"
Sometimes it was taken a step further and judgment was passed on makeup wearers.
"I don't wear makeup. Look at her, she wears makeup."
A glance across the room showed a woman who didn't look like a dude.
"She wears makeup, she's plastic."
A quick comparison would lead to the only possible conclusion, "Plastic is good." Yes, plastic was an expression of sorts, in the eighties.
Considering the size of the herd (human population) what number really should be walking around sans any sort of pancake, huh? There was no gaggle of Christie Brinklys back then and there is no surplus of Angie Harmons or Carmen Diaz's today. The point is God only created so much beauty and let the good people at Avon or somewhere make up the difference.
No makeup shows no initiative, no interest. It sometimes shows horror. Quick aside - Once a girl in the trade center showed up to work late without makeup and ran into her office. I didn't recognize her at all. I thought she looked rather unwell, like she had water on the brain. She reappeared ten minutes later and looked fine. She showed initiative.
Now, yes we can guffaw at the Clowns. Their final product, their visage, with wild amounts of varied colors leaves them with the effect of a Nascar with eyes. We may chortle at the Clowns, but let's do it quietly. They show initiative. Send in the Clowns. Keep the dudes.