What Would YOU Do in the Name of Charity?

     I think we can agree that charities are great if they support good causes, but how they get their funding may be another story. Once a normal boy, Chris would walk happily to school and back with a smile on his face and skip in his step. However, he started developing a grave disorder called dis-clothes-ia (also known as nakeditis) when he began attending classes at the Cooper Union. It was hard for us to see him being stripped of everything as the disease took over.

     It started with his shirt. He said it was too hot out. He said it was too wet out. He said anything we would believe to take that shirt off. That's when he met a group (not naming any names) at his school who used that to take advantage of him. They saw how uncomfortable he was sitting in class fully clothed for so long, so they asked if he might help them with their charity auction. He agreed, but he had no idea what he was getting himself into.

     The first auction went well, but as the bids got higher, the itch to be shirtless also rose. With the spotlight shining directly on him and him alone, sweat started beading on his forehead. He said, "It was like a million feathers were being rubbed all over my nose. But I didn't have to sneeze. I had to strip." And then he did. The shirt came off and the bids got higher. It was all going towards a donation to Habitat for Humanity, so how could it be a bad thing?

     The next year he was asked again to be a part of the charity auction, and he accepted immediately. He knew that he might be tempted again, but there's nothing wrong with giving the disease for charity, right? Well, you decide. There he was again. Spotlight on him and a room full of screaming bidders. This time he was much quicker in removing his shirt. He barely got halfway through the bidding process and he was already half naked. But then a new urge came... the pants. It came on slow at first, but grew like wildfire. The bids started slowing and he fought impossibly hard to suppress the feeling, but he just couldn't make it. He ripped those pants off with the strength of a second degree black. Again, a rush of bids ensued and he was clapped off the stage. But not without a bit of social media fame from this clip.

 

     Disclothesia can also bring about other strange behaviors involving garb. In Chris's case he also developed "peer-shear" where he would try to force others to remove garments. "Peer-shear" got its name from an old Swedish shepherd who felt the action of stripping others strongly resembled the techniques he used to shear his sheep. Luckily, Chris only exhibited "peer-shear" during the summer when most people were usually prepared for pools or the beach.